


079. When?  - Out of Time

by Arok88



Series: The 100 [15]
Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:02:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arok88/pseuds/Arok88
Summary: "When are you going to give the baby what he wants?" AJ asked aloud while he lit the end of his cigarette.**Direct Sequel to 002. Middles - Heavy**
Relationships: Nick Carter/Kevin Richardson
Series: The 100 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092305
Kudos: 4





	079. When?  - Out of Time

"When are you going to give the baby what he wants?" AJ asked aloud while he lit the end of his cigarette. 

The thick tar smell appeared in the air and Kevin wrinkled his nose in disgust but didn't answer. Instead opted to continue working on his laptop and hoped whatever nonsense AJ was prattling on about disappeared. 

AJ took several deep drags off the cigarette and then blew the smoke out in Kevin's direction. Kevin glanced up and scowled at him, as the smokey haze descended upon his work area. 

"You're not supposed to smoke in here." Kevin said angrily hoping the other man would take the hint and leave him alone. 

AJ smirked and continued smoking. "There's no sign. Plus, I smoke in here all the time, and haven't been busted once." 

Kevin rolled his eyes. Okay so maybe there should be a sign. He would talk to management team about having one fashioned. What building allowed indoor smoking anymore anyway. 

"Okay well then it's just rude, especially when you know how I feel about cigarette smoke. I was here working first. Go find somewhere else to do that." Kevin said, fixing AJ with another glare before returning his attention to his laptop. 

"It's rude to avoid my question Kevy Kev." AJ said as he dropped the cigarette to the floor and crushed it out with the toe of his shoe. 

Kevin was getting annoyed now. He'd come in here for some peace and quiet while the other guys played around in the sound booth working on vocals. He needed some space and time to himself. Why was this too hard to ask for? 

"What the hell are you talking about?" he barked, throwing up his hands in frustration as he lost his place in the document he was reading for the third time. 

"I said," AJ started, talking real slow like Kevin was stupid, "When are you going to give the baby what he wants." 

Kevin stared at him. "You keep saying the same words but I still don't know what the hell you are talking about." he was getting frustrated now. 

AJ let out a deep chuckle. "Sure you don't." he said with a smirk. 

"If you are just in here to annoy me, you can find somewhere else to do it. One of us is trying to get work done and I don't have time for your nonsense and games." 

AJ crossed his arms and glared back. "Who's the one playing games old man. That kid is head over heels for you. Everyone knows how he feels even if you don't want to admit it to yourself or to him. He's almost eighteen, so I ask you again. What are you waiting for? When are you going to wise up and realize that he may have waited all this time for you, but you're damn sure not worth him waiting much longer. "

Kevin just stared at him, his mouth agape. He had no idea anyone else knew about this little cat and mouse game he and Nick had been dancing around for years. He leaned back in his seat, his mind racing a mile a minute. "I still don't know what you're talking about." Kevin stuttered out. 

AJ stood and stretched out his legs. "You do, but it's okay. I don't give a shit. You're going to be the one sorry if you wait too long. If you want him great, but if you don't, you need to tell him. Stringing the poor kid along is just cruel Kevin." With that he turned on his heel and sauntered out of the room.

\-   
I just want you  
You make my heart beat fast in my chest and I don't know why  
Knew I'd love you  
From the day that we met till the day that we say goodbye  
I'll be with you  
Through the blood and the sweat through the pain and the sacrifice  
I'll still want you  
When we're old and we're grey and we're out of time  
-

Kevin sat staring at a spot on the wall for several minutes as he was consumed by his thoughts. His eyes flicked back to the sound booth and landed on the blonde in question. He was laughing, head thrown back and a wonderful flush covering his cheeks as he and Brian talked about something. Kevin found himself smiling in spite of himself, as he always did when he could watch the young boy without anyone paying attention. What had Nick been telling people? He surely hadn’t told anyone how he felt, how he’d always felt. 

Nick chose that moment to look up and their gazes locked, a slow smile crossing Nick’s lips as they stared at each other. Kevin could feel his heart beat in his chest and he took several deep breaths to calm his nerves. He had to get out of there. He broke their gaze and realized AJ was back inside the booth, the three of them now getting ready to record. At least he could get a few minutes alone to collect his thoughts. He got up from the couch and headed down the long hall that led to the emergency exit. They never kept it hooked up while artists were recording and he knew he could get out without sounding an alarm. He reached the end of the hallway and gave the door a shove, blanching as the bright sunlight hit him in the face. He didn't let that dissuade him and instead stepped out further, allowing the sun rays to beat down on him. 

He walked to the back of the building and leaned against the brick facade. He took several deep breaths before walking his back down the wall until his butt landed in the gravel of the concrete. He drew his legs up tightly to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, head falling into the open space. 

He had no idea how long he sat there, his eyes closed as he ran through thoughts in his mind. He hadn't even realized that he wasn't alone until he heard the soft speaking voice of Howie and realized he'd probably been standing out there for some time. Kevin looked up and saw Howie on the phone a short distance away. Howie walked in circles, kicking rocks in the parking lot while he spoke to someone on his cell phone. Finally Howie finished the conversation and looked up, startled to see Kevin sitting there. He shot him a small smile and made his way over, taking his own seat beside him. 

"What's up man, you doing okay?" Howie asked, bumping their shoulders together good naturedly. 

Kevin shrugged, causing Howie to examine him further. "Okay, what's going on? I thought you were working in the office." Howie said slowly. 

Why was everyone talking to him like he was a moron today? Kevin didn't bother responding. Howie sighed heavily. "If you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you come up with a way to fix it." 

"Stupid AJ." Kevin said as he kicked his feet out in front of him to stretch his legs. 

"Ahh," Howie said, nodding his head, obviously understanding completely what was going on. 

Kevin looked at him curiously. "What?" 

Howie shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. "AJ said he was going to say something to you. I begged him not to, but it sounds like he did it anyway." 

Kevin stared at the younger man, eyes blazing. "Does everyone just sit around and talk about me?" he asked, throwing up his hands in frustration. What the hell was this day. He'd expect to get quite a bit of work done to make his evening easier, but now he was in the middle of all of this shit with no work being done at all. It was incredibly frustrating. 

Howie laid his hand in Kevin's upper arm. It was warm and comforting and Kevin felt his anger slipping. "Aje and I have had several conversations, yes, but only because we're concerned, about both of you, about the group." 

Kevin couldn't look at him this time and instead focused all his attention on his clasped hands. He took comfort in the fact that Howie's hand was still resting on his arm. He hadn't realized how much he missed the comforting touch of a friend.

"I don't know what to do." Kevin admitted softly. 

Howie gave him a moment of silence and then asked. "Do you love him? Want him the same way he loves and wants you?" 

Kevin wasn't sure how to respond. It was the first time someone had actually asked him that. He did, he had for so long it was just a part of him. But Nick was still so young, still learning about the world and his place in it. How could Kevin ever think he would be enough to keep Nick happy as he grew older and realized there was so much more that the world had to offer. He nodded numbly, still refusing to look at Howie. 

"I think…" Howie began, "I think you need to do something, say something before we lose him." 

Kevin's head jerked up to meet the chocolate brown eyes of the other man. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice feeling like gravel. 

Howie nodded and looked away. "I think we're both old enough and adult enough to realize and admit that there isn't a group here if he's not part of it. He's the heart and soul, as well as the teenage sex appeal." he managed a laugh before continuing. "But that kid, he loves you so much. Not that I don't think you're great, but I don't understand it and for someone so young. But it's always been you Kevin. I can remember him crawling into my bunk at thirteen years old and telling me how much he loved you and begging me not to hate him for being gay."

Kevin still wasn't sure what to say so he remained quiet. Howie kept on."I think over the years as he's grown into the young man he's becoming that he's grown even more attached to you, loving you is important to him. You are important to him. And if you don't feel the same way, if you can never or will never give him what he wants, then I think he will walk. I think he'll have to if there's any chance of saving his heart."

The silence that hung over them was deafening. Kevin moved his feet back and forth to crunch the gravel, giving him something to focus on. "I didn't want to do anything until he was older. I didn't want to influence him. I wanted him to be able to live and make his own choices." 

"Nick made his choice a long time ago Kev. And he keeps making the same one every day. I can't tell you that it will be all sunshine and roses and you'll never have arguments. I can't even tell you that it will last forever, but I can tell you, remind you, that Nicky loves with his whole heart and he wants to give it to you. The longer you put him off and make him wait the more you are going to convince him that he's not good enough and that you don't and won't feel the same. Just think about it. " Howie patted his arm one last time for good measure before getting to his feet and heading back into the building. 

Kevin leaned his head back against the wall and knocked his head against the brick gently a couple of times, trying desperately to focus the whirling in his mind. He had to talk to Nick. He had to do something before he lost any chance he had with the younger man. Perhaps Howie was right, his inaction would end up ruining everything. It was time to stop being scared and do something about the way he felt. But what? When? 

-  
From the day that we met till the day that we say goodbye  
I'll be with you  
Through the blood and the sweat through the pain and the sacrifice  
I'll still want you  
When we're old and we're grey and we're out of time


End file.
